Shudder..

3 05 2011

God only knows what this would look like had it taken place in the Trafford Centre Apple Store..

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Why aren’t PADI training videos like this ?

6 04 2011




Not bad, not bad..

6 04 2011




Who says Americans don’t do irony ?

1 04 2011

Normally the Onion annoys me, but this was quite funny..





Can’t wait till you can get this on the options list..

20 01 2011

..I’d use it against all the dawdlers who annoy me on the road !

could always get a range rover too – I hear it has the same effect..





Dangerous Golf

3 03 2009

A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises,
two black eyes, and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.

Naturally, the Doctor asked him, “What happened to you?”
“Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a
difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a cow pasture.

We went to look for them and while I was looking around I noticed one
of the cows had something white at its rear end.
I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a golf
ball with my wife’s monogram on it – stuck right in the middle of the
cow’s arse.”

Still holding the cow’s tail up, I yelled to my wife, “Hey, this
looks like yours!”

“I don’t remember much after that…”





Another oldie that makes me laugh..

25 02 2009

Three women friends, one in a casual relationship, one engaged to be
married and one a long-time wife, met for drinks after work.

The conversation eventually drifted towards how best to spice up their
sex lives. After much discussion, they decided to surprise their men
by engaging in some S&M role playing.

The following week they met up again to compare notes:

Sipping her drink, the single girl leered and said, ‘Last Friday at
the end of the work day I went to my boyfriend’s office wearing a
leather coat. When all the other people had left, I slipped out of it
and all I had on was a leather bodice, black stockings and stiletto
heels. He was so aroused that we made mad passionate love on his desk
right then and there!’

The engaged woman giggled and said, ‘That’s pretty much my story!
When my fiancé got home last Friday, he found me waiting for him in a
black mask, leather bodice, black hose and stiletto pumps. He was so
turned on that we not only made love all night, he wants to move up
our wedding date!

The married woman put her glass down and said, ‘I did a lot of
planning. I made arrangements for the kids to stay over at Grandma’s.
I took a long scented-oil bath and then put on my best perfume.. I
slipped into a tight leather bodice, a black garter belt, black
stockings and six-inch stilettos. I finished it off with a black mask.

When my husband got home from work, he grabbed a beer and the remote,
sat down and yelled:

‘Hey, Batman, what’s for dinner?